Monday, November 28, 2005
I finally succumbed to the MySpace plague. haha. Oh peer pressure, what can you do. Eric and Rey kept needling me til I went on my hours long myspace rampage. I indentified people from high school and college whom I'm sure barely remember my name. If I was in a class with them, they got invited to my "friend network" haha. I swore up and down I wouldn't do it. Serves me right for being high and mighty. If you are reading this because you looked at my page "HI!" Congrats on your life. As you may already be able to tell, I have partially come into being the socialist you all thought I would be. Next step in my "friend network", my Pomona life.
For those of you who haven't heard of myspace, in case I am not the only one far removed from the 21st century, it is a website where you can post a personal page with your info. Then you can seek out the pages of long lost friends and acquaintances and add them to your "personal network". Then you can reconnect or just know you have their contact info if you ever desire to. I am actually pretty sure there is more to this, however, that is the level of knowledge that I have about the whole deal.
Its crazy to see how many people are married or having kids or have kids. I am just not at that place in my life. I am happy for those people. I can't imagine what its like to have that kind of stability in your life already. I'm still the kid thats flying to crazy locations, traveling for work, working crazy long and obscene hours. Don't trip, I wouldn't have my life any other way. Commitment-phobe as I am, workaholic as I am, I think there is something really special about my path. All its speed bumps, adventures, and quirks. I feel chosen. And really, as much hurt as their is in the world, isn't it great to have that feeling, even in random burts?
Alright, I better go join the fam, just a few hours left with them and then I head back to SF.
Posted by KarlitaLiliana at 12:54 AM
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Me and My dad
This is bar none my favorite holiday. I wanted to write a quick post before the whole weekend of thanks is over. It is a weekend right? I mean technically, a day, but we celebrate to an extent for more then that. I feel like there is nothing more pure then being able to give that thanks. Its not something our American culture lends itself to, we spend so much time bitchin and complaining over what is created with our complacency... but I digress.
I needed this weekend. I needed it sooo bad. I needed the rest comfort and safety of my childhood home. I sure got it too. There are times when I feel so distanced from this place and the life I had here. Its almost like that line in Garden State, the one about home being this place you miss but doesn't quite exist anymore. Especially now that I am running on year three of having my own place.
Let me tell you though, there is love here I don't know I can find in the same form anywhere else. Anywhere from the way my mom hugs to the way Eric and Ricky (my true blue dear high school friends) look at me to the way I joke around with my brother.
Its taken me a long time to appreciate this place as I should, warts and all, but I do.
Posted by KarlitaLiliana at 12:46 AM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The event I had with my students last Friday was off the chain. Can I tell you, my kids are remarkable. I never stop being blown away by them. There was freestyling, poetry, dance performances, multicultural foods, really they did the damn thang. My contribution to the affair was the last post as well as a plate of platanos. Can I pause to say, I love my job. I feel really lucky, I spent most of last Friday turning a library into a nightclub, complete with votives on the tables, rainbow color light ball and a stage. I mean really, who gets to do that for a living.
I love the atmosphere at College Track right before an event like that. Most, if not all, students (and staff) are feeling insecure about going on stage and opening their hearts. There is mega-anxiety about the whole thing. Its really about just encouraging everyone to get there day of, because once you get in the room, its amazing. All that nervous energy really just transforms itself into this fantastic space of expression. I sound totally cheesetastic right now, but if you saw it, you would know what i mean. On top of that, my kids are mad talented. (Between Mad and Hella, I've been around to many bay area people and too many New Yorkers, haha)
I'm hoping to get a few of my students wrapped into this spoken word CD project. Watch out, it may be coming to a Starbucks near you.
Posted by KarlitaLiliana at 12:29 AM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
To My Dearest Body,
I looked at you today and I want to say I'm sorry,
I realize how rarely I stand in appreciation of you, defend you, admire you.
Shoulders, you have carried a backpack at least 30 pounds in weight and launched me into the world.
It was due to YOUR determination body I was able to know a Grecian ocean, Italy's art, and Japan's lights.
Yet still I critiqued you and judged you for your fullness.
The same thighs I resented became the muscles that carried me to mountain-tops
There half way to the heavens, you helped me know God's majesty as well as becoming acquainted with my own.
I THANK YOU body for never losing faith in me, trusting at all turns that I would find our way.
Carrying in me the knowledge that not only was I a future bearer of life but a current bearer of light.
As much as I ridiculed you arms, you help me show love and receive it through your embrace.
You allow me to cradle those in need and find support in tides of empty.
Face, I fear you deserve the deepest of my apologies
How many times did I avoid looking at you
How much I longed to change you, rework you into what someone else told me was beauty
Yet strong you stayed allowing the world to know what I needed to express.
Eyes when I had so much pain or so much joy words were not enough,
You gave me tears and allowed me to feel release.
I mourn how I underestimated you, thought less of and even ignored you.
How long I left you as my last priority... yet never did you abandon me.
I pushed you and you kept going
I deprived you of sleep, yet you still woke up
In the most vicious attack of our lives,
An attack that could have numbed us both into submission,
We joined forces and together we found freedom!
We did not allow cruelty to take our power.
I am indebted to you as we are indebted to each other.
I HONOR you body for being a vessel of change,
for not allowing fear, grief or fatigue to stop our greatness.
I can say it no simpler, speak it no clearer, express it no plainer...
With all the joy in my being.
I love you.
Sincerely, truly, and with all my esteem,
Your spirit, essence, heart and core...
aka Your Soul
Posted by KarlitaLiliana at 11:23 PM