Monday, June 05, 2006

Focusing on the other pieces

I just posted an abbreviated version of this on my myspace bulletin. But this blog is something my kids don't read so, I'll elaborate a little. This is what I wrote there...

"So I've just gotten my umpteenth piece of feedback about focusing on parts of my life that aren't my career. I am starting to feel that my friends are afraid the words "Lonely Spinster" are going to be on my tombstone. lol.

I personally believe myself to be quite the perky, quirky, enjoyable gal. However, I do acknowledge that my focus can become pretty singular and work oriented. I'm not quite sure how to step out of that. I mean there is going to the gym three times a week, getting out of work on time and the like. But how do you focus on a social life. I am posting because I know some of you are particularly good at this. I am frankly asking for suggestions. How do you focus on pieces of your life that aren't your job, when you love what you do? It's easy to go back to it and fix things there. I know how. How do I focus on having fun? Any ideas?



I think I have done a lot better with the personal care stuff. I started making goals and then following through with them. Creating a space for things that are exclusively for me. But it still didn't show me how to have fun. lol. I know that sounds way more tragic then it really is. But don't cry for me Argentina. I am not moping around about it exactly. I'm just a little puzzled. Its been a waaaay difficult year. One full of sadness. The fact I haven't crawled into a little ball and cried is a big fuckin accomplishment. But how do I extend past this point.

Here is the deal, when I am with my good friends. I'm not talking about the legions of people who lean on me or ask me for advice, but my really good friends. I swear to you, I am a fucking blast. lol. I mean I can crack a joke like no other, I'm silly... I'm me. But I get around other people and a part of that shuts down. I just kinda listen in. Unless I'm talking about work. In which case, I am the alpha female. When I'm around other people if I'm not advising, I'm not really free. I don't know if this is a choice or if its just how I react. Now is this how other people perceive me? Probably not. I doubt many people have noticed at all. I think that's why I latch on to people who make me laugh. It gives me free license. But I guess I have to trust people in my gut on first impression to allow them to let me laugh. And my gut trusts so few. Argh and grrr on the walls.

Any ideas cyberspace?

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