Sunday, March 04, 2007

An Hours Worth of Thought

So I sat down to think of the things that I heard today. I would really appreciate feedback from anyone willing to give it.

I come to the same conclusions over and over again about this one. I'm a little stuck.

I believe transition times are times of much acknowledgement and much scorn. For me, in this time, I've recieved some of the most beautiful compliments I've ever had. I've had people of all ages tell me the impact I have had on their lives. How grateful they are to have been near me and my heart.

I guess my question is how do you accept what people say, not take away from the emotions around all of it, let yourself soak in your contribution to the world and keep your humility. I mean, doesn't it sound obnoxious to be all "Ya, I rock." haha. It's just so foreign to me. I mean I have some horrible habits around it. It used to be when people gave me that, I would think in my head, if I had assisted in the "right" way, they would realize they changed their own lives and really did it all themselves. Then I would start to tear myself down. I know that this peice is just personal decimation. There is no reason for me to take it there. I refuse to be that dysfunctional. There was a time when I allowed this of myself, but that time has passed.

And I mean, I'm lucky, of all the things to be conflicted about, this one, not so bad. But my humility means something to me. It's an important part of my empathy. I see such wonderful freakin amazingness in the world. I'm humbled I'm allowed to be a part of people's hearts that way. It's an innate part of who I am.

At base however, I've always encouraged others to own their own power. I firmly believe that you cannot make change running from your own greatness. I've watched others struggle with it and underrating yourself does as Marianne Williamson so eloquently put it "does not serve the world... as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give others permission to do the same." Which is I think one of the best quotes ever, so how? How do you do it and keep that part of you that knows there is always more growing and work to be done. Any thoughts?

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